My Reality Is Skewed

Scene: AT&T store by our house

Me:  Hi, I need a life proof case for my iPhone 5.
Mike: She means for her iPhone 4S.
Me:  Wait...what?
Mike:  She has an iPhone 4S and she wants a life proof case for it.
Me:  I thought I had an iPhone 5.
Mike:  No.  You have an iPhone 4S.
Me:  I do?  Really?  Are you sure?
Sales-lady (looking at my phone):  Yes ma'am, that is an iPhone 4S.
Me:  Seriously?  I was sure I had an iPhone 5!
Mike:  Um...no...you have never had an iPhone 5.
Me:  Wait.  Do I drive a Lexus?
Mike:  You drive a Honda Minivan.
Me:  Am I twenty-eight?
Mike: You are forty-two.
Sales-lady:  I'm just going to give you two a minute and I will come back.