February has not been good to us

It seems that the month of February is filled with illness, temper tantrums, puppy mishaps and daily struggles.  I have not had much to say that is positive so I haven't been blogging.  But since this is more of a journal for myself I will write down what we have been going through.

Lucy is defiant.  She wants to argue about everything.  She will argue that it is daytime at 5:00 in the morning when it is pitch black outside.  She lives in her own reality and will argue you to death.  She will stand her ground no matter what the argument.  When faced with consequences of losing a precious stuffed animal or blanket, she will continue until you take it away.  And these are simple requests we are making of her.  We are not asking her to do calculus or wash the car.  We are asking her to pick up a shoe, or a toy.  "I need help" she whines.  "I can't" she says while starting to spiral out of control.  And the downward spiral starts that simply.  With a simple request...go wash your hands...pick up your shoes that are in the middle of the walkway...turn off the TV and come to dinner...  We are not asking a lot.  And the time it would take her to comply, 2 minutes, would be much shorter than the hour and a half meltdown that ensues when we insist that she come to dinner, or pick up a shoe, or wash her hands.  And every time it is gut wrenching.  Mike and I are simply dumb founded that she would choose this dissonance over harmony.  Choose to be punished or spanked over spending time playing or reading.

Speaking of reading.  We read every night.  We will agree on a number before we start.  Tonight we are going to read 2 books, you pick which ones.  Tonight we are going to read 3 book, you choose 2 Lucy, Emma chooses one.  Tonight we are going to read 1 long book, my choice.  And every time after we finish she wants one more book.  One more book she whines, then starts to say it over and over and over again.  It is time for bed, I say.  But it always turns into a fight.

We argue about clothes as well.  She wants to wear a spaghetti strap sundress outside in the snow.  I say that it is too cold to wear that outside.  But I want to, she says.  I understand that you want to but I think you should consider wearing sleeves into the snow.  What do I do?  Do I let her go into the snow with a sundress?  Do I say she can't go outside?  Do I man handle her into a sweater?  And when she bursts into tears because it is too cold outside, she has no recollection of me trying to get her to wear warmer clothes.  None.

I am asking all my friends and family who read this, to please give me advice.  I do not know how to handle this child.  She behaves perfectly at school.  She picks up her toys, she puts away her books, she doesn't have meltdowns over simple requests at school.  They ask and she does it.  She doesn't throw things at the teacher or try to manipulate them. 

This has been our life for the last year.  I thought she would out grow it, but that is not happening.  It is escalating.  I need help here...